Atammayatā: to remain wild & free
Introduction
A pivotal moment during my retreat in Korea was the sudden realization that I had become consubstantial with greed, anger, and delusion in my endeavor to observe how these three arise and cease within body, speech, and mind. I had become obsessed with my dysfunctions. I was on an all-inclusive cruise to madness. This wasn’t a dark night. It was a neon lit evening which took me to a place “not made of that” (110, The Island: An Anthology of the Buddha’s Teachings on Nibbana).
The tranquility that arose from mindfulness of breath brought me back to land. No longer was I debris flying in a hurricane. Rather than dryly observing mind and body in the hope of finally detaching myself from associated suffering, I was reminded to practice attention on the breath to loosen up first.
Equanimity isn’t about restraining. There is a mantra, David Lynch-inspired, that I utilize as my thesis for Buddhist meditation practice: to remain wild and free. At Dharma Treasure, our monk in wilderness has inspired me to keep investigating the depths of knowing and feeling with atammayatā aka the uncooked, raw mind. Developing equanimity reveals our most feral, yet authentic being.
Santikaro Bhikkhu explains that “atammayatā is ‘unconcotability,’ a state of mind independent of the objects and conditions of experience. Fully conscious and aware, this mind is not affected by the defilements of greed, anger, and delusion” (114, 6.1, The Island: An Anthology of the Buddha’s Teachings on Nibbana). In Korean Seon (선), Master KuSan (구산수련) shares a poem that describes the unaffected mind:
"The moon on the night of the new moon Is very bright and clear. Quietly shines the Absolute Light From days of old to now. I ask you now, how is this? All material and immaterial things And all aspects of Nature Are in full conformity with Absolute Truth" (125, Nine Mountains).
The poem’s last three lines include a footnote explaining that “before Enlightenment everything is particular and distinct, but afterwards all is contained within Enlightenment’s light” (125, Nine Mountains).
SCOBY Updates:
Queer Vihara Retreat 2025 is happening March 19th - March 23rd at Dharma Treasure in Cochise Stronghold, AZ. Check it out here!
Queer Sangha is meeting once a month. Based in Tucson, AZ and available on Zoom. Please email scobycaveyogi@gmail.com if you’re interested in joining.
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